On a scale from Landlord to Ryan Gosling
by sugarshots
Summary: Nick has a sexy dream about Jess and it makes things a little bit awkward in the loft. Jess tries to deal with it in her own way with talking, while Nick wants none of it!


**On a Scale from Landlord to Ryan Gosling****  
**New girl does not belong to me, or any of its characters. Elizabeth Meriwether is to thank for the amazing world of Nick and Jess.

* * *

His bed sheets were sweaty and sticky as it clung to his body. It was mid-summer and the heat was really getting to him. Completely asleep and dreaming intently, Nick was having a restless nights sleep.

_He was chugging a beer on the couch and relaxing by playing his favorite xbox game. Currently he was kicking ass, as his alter ego as Julius Pepperwood the sound of the loft door opened and distracted him from his current game. _

"_Hello?" Nick's voice raised two octaves higher knowing very well that the rest of his roommates would be out for a lot longer. "Who's there?" Nick asked again as he raised his xbox remote in a defensive position. _

_But in walked Jess, wearing nothing but her pink bathrobe. _

_Dam Catnip._

_He wanted her. _

"_What are you looking at Nick?" Jess asked slyly as she was untying her robe and walking towards him wearing 4 inch black heals. How the hell she could walk in them was a mystery enough for him. _

"_Ugh, oh look outside, SUCH and Great day…with the clouds and the air….." He said starting to feel uncomfortable and playing with his flannel shirt. "I have to go check my stocks on the computer because," He started rambling as jess straddled on top of him " because you know life insurance—"_

_And than she was kissing him. His arms didn't know where to go, and she was kissing him with such fever that it made him go hot all over. For a moment they broke a part and all that escaped from Nicks lips was "Shit.." He kissed her again. This time more passionate and less urgent with his arms resting on her hips and with her hands tangled in his hair. He laid her slowly down on the couch and his body began acting completely on impulse. Both their hands moved carelessly over each other's bodies until Jess stripped off his shirt and began kissing him even more deeply then before._

_He moaned her name under his breath. _

_Tops were thrown off in urgency, and he wanted her. He wanted her bad. _

"_Is this happening?" He asked her one more time. She just nodded intently and he…"_

Woke up.

Not only woke up, but in a panic with sweat on his face and a pitched tent in his bed. His cheeks were red, and the dream was _vivid_ to say the least.

This had happened before to Nick, especially a few times after the recent kiss that had happened between the two of them. Both Nick and Jess had gotten over the recent debacle and the awkwardness had slowly begun to fade away. But this made him feel even more uncomfortable.

He needed a cold shower and quick.

Nick just wanted to make a quick dash to the shower, without running into anyone. He didn't want to pull a Winston and pogo someone.

"The showers in use, I had me some Indian last night," Schmidt said with a grin plastered across his face.

"EW Schmidt never say that again, jar NOW!" Jess exclaimed.

"OH and Nick, I made you breakfast, _come_ here and have some,"

Nick looked down, unable to look at her after that _colourful_ dream.

Schmidt and Winston look at him perplexed.

"Not now, I need to shower," Nick stated still obviously avoiding her eyes.

"Don't be silly, let me just grab that tow-" she said as she made a quick swipe and Nicks face was burning once again.

"OH okay, well there is that" Jess said awkwardly "good morning little nick," and she handed him the plate of food and turned around and walked to the kitchen

Nothing like some morning wood, ammirite?" Schmidt said casually

"Awe hell naww," Winston said

Nick was embarrassed and started to walk away.

"Widdle baby have another Jess wet dream,"

"Schmidt, SHUT UP," Nick yelled as he slammed the door to his room.

Winston's and Jess' faces dropped

"Don't worry, I've got the jar money ready" Called Schmidt.

"Really Schmidt, REALLY? After things were finally starting to get normal around here," Winston argued.

"If I can't joke about a natural moment in a mans life, then there is something wrong with you guys,"

Jess knocked on Nicks door

"Nick?" Jess almost whispered

No answer.

"Nick, come on let me talk to you,"

"I don't want to talk about it Jess, I'd rather climb out the window again,"

"Listen, I've dealt with the fact that you guy have thought about me…ehhem…self-completing," She started,

After she said that word, Nick opened his door.

"STOP TALKING JESS, I AM LEAVING THIS APPARTMENT."

"Nick come on we have to TALK about this,"

"We are not talking about this, Jessica!" He said as he slammed the door to the apartment closed.

Jess immediately chased after him, taking the stairs and intercepting him downstairs.

"Jess please, I just need to NOT see you now."

"It's okay you know, I've seen that O'le buddy before," She said putting on a newscaster voice and pointing at nicks pee-pee and bubbles.

"OH MY GOD JESS,"

"I'm SORRY okay, I'm sorry. What would fix this? Would you want to see my lady boner?"

"What are you even saying?"

"I DON'T KNOW NICK, You can't see lady boners, and they just make me feel twirly"

"ICK, I did not need to know that, " Nick said.

"How about this, I've had a sexy dream about you before too Miller, okay! There I said it. I had a dream about sexy Pepperwood, and it was hot and sexy and I am not afraid to admit it!" She said somewhat proudly.

"You what?" he asked smiling from his chin to his ears.

"Don't make a big deal about it Miller, subconscious Jess is a different jess."

"Did it make you feel, " Nick held up his hands in air quotes "twirly?"

"I mean this on a scale from landlord to Ryan Gosling, cause I'm man enough to admit that he has it going on almost everywhere"

"Eh, it was pretty hot,"

"Are you saying I'm as hot as Ryan Gosling, because I refuse to take that title, I'll admit it's a little intimidating,"

"Ryan Gosling is too polished, you have food on your clothes from TWO DAYS AGO NICK."

"You still had a sexy dream about me though,"

"But so did you," she argued.

"Alright, I had a sexy dream about you Jess. And yes, if Ryan Gosling was a woman it would be pretty high up there on the scale,"

The two of them laughed as Nick put his arm around jess

" Come on, let's go back to the loft so we don't look like two crazy people standing out here,"

"You're just as hot, if not hotter than Ryan Gosling, Nick" Jess said.

"Even if you count my cookie pooch?"

"Even then,"

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I hope you guys enjoyed! Please review if you've got the time and tell me if you liked it or not! This is My first stab at a New Girl fanfiction and I hope you all liked it!

-sugarshots


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